College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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