you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
