So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
