He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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