i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
