Please, let me fuck your mom
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize