what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
