how can u be prego again
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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