I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
her vagine was all disorganized.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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