mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
