Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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