this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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