you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Found the puke drawer
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My bed smells like the plague
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
