He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
