She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
