careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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