You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
