Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize