Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
