You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
