i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
