Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
