I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
