those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
