The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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