I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize