So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
