I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
