This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
