You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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