when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
