He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
