he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
