You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
