If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I love you. Go after that dick
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
