I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
