He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
