You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
