he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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