If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
