your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize