I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So much rum. So many feels.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize