just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
