I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
