So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
