I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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