the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
