this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
