i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
