with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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