I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
