was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
