why do cheetos always look like penises
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
