Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
