sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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