the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
