i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
