As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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