I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
