these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
