forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
operation harelip BJ is a go
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
