your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
