Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
